Tag Archives: etiquette

Holiday Cards and the Workplace

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writing greeting cards

Workplace question: Should I send a holiday card to my boss or other members of management? Reference-checking firm Allison & Taylor answers in the affirmative.

It offers reasons why and tips for doing it correctly.

Why a traditional greeting card is a good idea:

  • Connecting with your bosses (or a former boss) will help keep you top-of-mind in their awareness, translating to possible future support or opportunity.
  • Staying in touch with bosses and colleagues via a holiday card is a subtle yet highly effective form of networking.
  • Sending your bosses (also former bosses, colleagues, suppliers, etc.) a card demonstrates a personal touch to accompany your business relationship.
  • Staying in the favor of your prospective employment references (particularly former bosses) is critical to your future employment success.
  • Developing and maintaining positive relationships with your management team, co-workers and former bosses will ultimately be a cornerstone of success in your career.

Sending the right holiday greeting card:

While sending out holiday cards is almost certainly a good idea, even this generous gesture can backfire if the proper protocols aren’t observed. 

  • Choose a high-quality holiday card that allows no possibility of offending its recipient. Remember that not everyone celebrates Christmas – be mindful of religious and cultural nuances.
  • Choose a design that is appropriate for your business associates.
  • Keep your contact list accurate and up-to-date. Make sure you’re not sending a card to someone who has left the department or the company.
  • Check the spelling of your contacts and their corporate name. Any good points you’ll score with a holiday card will be lost if you misspell your contact’s name or corporate information.
  • Include one of your business cards inside the greeting card. This small insertion ensures that your recipients have your most current contact information and will reinforce your name with the card’s recipient.
  • Sign each card personally. It only takes a moment to sign your name and write a short greeting, and your business associates will notice and appreciate this more personal gesture.

Business Dining Etiquette Essentials

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Business meals are more than just talking shop. They are a way to distinguish your demeanor from the dinner table to the boardroom. You can be the best in your field or tops in your company, but if you mess up the business meal, no one is going to be impressed. What do you need to know about modern table manners to make a great impression?

Sharon Schweitzer, J.D., is a cross-cultural consultant, an international protocol expert and the founder of Protocol & Etiquette Worldwide. She says employ these seven business dining tips to present yourself in the best manner possible and ace every business dining experience that crosses your path.

  1. Invitations: Remember that the person extending the invitation is the host and is responsible for payment of the bill. When receiving or extending invitations, pay attention to special dietary needs. The host may ask about food allergies or sensitivities, kosher, halal, gluten-free, sugar-free and dairy-free diets. Be sure to RSVP or reply within 24 hours with any dietary restrictions.
  2. Guest Duties: As a guest, observe the host for cues. For example: place your napkin in your lap after the host; the host does so first to signal the start of the meal. When excusing yourself between courses, the napkin is placed on the chair seat soiled side down. At meal’s end, place your loosely folded napkin on the left of your plate after the host does. Don’t refold it.
  3. Silverware & Service Signals: Once silverware is used, including handles, it doesn’t touch the table again. Rest forks, knives and spoons on the side of your plate. Unused silverware stays on the table. If you are resting between bites, place your fork, with tines up, near the top of your plate. To signal the server that you’re finished, place your fork and knife across the center of the plate at the 5 o’clock position. Service signals also include closing your menu to indicate you’re ready to order. If you are browsing an open menu, the server has the impression you aren’t ready.
  4. What should you order? Ask the person who invited you (host or hostess) for suggestions on the menu. Ask them to make suggestions or for their favorite dish. Listen carefully because they will provide a top and bottom price range based on the entrées they recommend. Then select a moderately priced item or one of the dishes they recommend.
  5. To drink or not to drink? If the host orders alcohol, and you don’t wish to drink, you simply order the beverage of your preference without an explanation. “I’ll have an iced tea with lemon please” or “Diet Coke please” and continue to browse the menu. You are under no obligation to consume alcohol at lunch or any other time of the day. Polite dining companions will not comment or ask questions. If they do, simply ask, “Pardon me?” and look at them intently. They will realize the impertinence of their question.
  6. Connections & Conversation: It’s the host’s job to keep conversation going during the meal; and guests must contribute with courtesy. Just don’t monopolize the conversation, rather ask questions and express interest. Light topics include books, travel, vacation, movies and pets; avoid politics, sex and religion. If you need to talk to the server, don’t interrupt the flow of the conversation. Rather, catch the eye of the server if you need assistance, or slightly raise your hand. If they are busy, softly call their name or “server?”
  7. Tipping: The host is the person who extended the invitation, and they are responsible for paying the bill. Consider these U.S. tipping guidelines: bartender: 10-20 % of bar bill; valet: $2.00-$5.00; coat check: $1.00 per coat; server: 15-20% of bill; 25% extraordinary service; sommelier: 15% of wine bill. The tip should reflect the total price of the bill before coupons, discounts or gift certificates.

Sorry, But It’s Time to Abandon Apologies

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One of my favorite college teachers once shared a piece of valuable advice from her mother: Never enter a room apologizing.

Sure, “sorry” has its place. The problem is that the phrase is widely overused, which minimizes its sincerity and impact.

International business speaker and author Michael Kerr has this to say in a Business Insider story titled “12 Times You Shouldn’t Say ‘I’m sorry’ at Work”: “Some people just use ‘I’m sorry’ as a filler phrase, like ‘so’ or ‘um,’ or they may use it because they think it makes them seem more polite,” explains Kerr. “Others say ‘I’m sorry’ to convey a sense of deference to their superiors – and many use a well-placed ‘I’m sorry’ as a preemptive strike to avoid taking responsibility for their actions (‘I’m really sorry, but there’s just no way I can get this report done by Monday’).

Forego apologies in these scenarios (view full list):

When you really aren’t sorry.
We’ve all witnessed the classic “non-apology apology” where someone thinks they’ve said they’re sorry, but they really haven’t.

“Dogs can tell when we’re not being sincere, so if your ‘I’m sorry’ drips with sarcasm or oozes insincerity and you’re merely saying it because you think it will make the problem go away or get you out of the doghouse, then don’t say it,” Kerr advises. “Leave it for when you genuinely are sorry and want to convey ownership over an issue.”

When you are genuinely upset over someone’s bad behavior.
“I’m sorry, but you just can’t make sexist comments like that in here.”

“The person who should be saying they’re sorry is the person making the sexist comment, not you for holding them to task,” Kerr explains. “Saying ‘I’m sorry’ minimizes your own feelings and plants the seed that perhaps, just maybe, you’re the one who should be sorry.”

Before you ask a favor of someone.
“I’m sorry, but would you mind helping me?” or “I hate to have to ask, but could you help me with …?” are horrible ways to preface a request.

If you’re really that sorry or feel that badly about it, you wouldn’t be asking.

Just jump right into the request, or start with a compliment, like, “I know you’re great with Excel. Would you mind helping me with this spreadsheet?”

Miss Manners Says, ‘Put Your Device Away at Work!’

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Emily Post, the famed 20th Century etiquette guru once said, “Good manners reflect something from inside – an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.”

While Post might not have seen cellphones, tablets or laptops coming, these handy-dandy technologies can pose etiquette problems in the workplace (and at lunch with friends and at home with your families – but we’re just going to focus on the workplace for now).

A survey from Robert Half Technology of over 2,300 chief information officers (CIOs) around the country found that 64% of CIOs said the increased use of mobile devices has led to more workplace rudeness over the last three years. That percentage has grown from 51% in 2010.

These technologies can help with productivity, but also serve as major distractions in meetings and face-to-face conversations.

Robert Half Technology offers four suggestions to avoid breaching etiquette at work:

  • Don’t surf while talking. It’s just rude to check your email or be on the Internet while in the midst of a conversation with someone.
  • Keep voicemails concise. Get to the point, already.
  • Make smart communication choices. Use the available technology to your advantage: Need a quick answer on something? Try an email, text or instant message. Just make sure to pick up the phone or walk down the hallway if you’ve got a long request or need to have a difficult conversation.
  • Avoid intense multitasking. Be present wherever you are. Tablets and laptops can make meetings more effective and efficient, but surfing the web or Tweeting during meetings is just a distraction for you and everyone else involved.

One more thing: the Emily Post Institute has a whole section on business etiquette, as well as a guide, “Manners in a Digital World, Living Well Online.” Check them out when you’ve got some free time at www.emilypost.com.