Gridiron Economics: Does College Football Resemble the Economy?

Steve Chapman of Reason Magazine waxes analytical about a perceived decline of college football, claiming its lack of defense (poor product) and gluttony of bowl games (celebration of mediocrity) has a distinct resemblance to current economic woes. His final conclusion is noteworthy as he surmises, "As the folks at Lehman Brothers and Citigroup can attest, unbridled excess can be a recipe for regret." Also, he references Purdue’s Joe Tiller in the full story, which will be fun for some of you:

Barack Obama has weighed in against the existing Bowl Championship Series as a way of determining the national title among college football’s top-tier teams. What he has failed to address are two far more grievous afflictions plaguing the game: a gross surplus of scoring and a mortifying multiplicity of bowls.

In the golden days, the game consisted of a lot of blocking and a lot of tackling. Teams marched laboriously down the field, if they moved at all. Occasionally they scored. More often they didn’t.

In those days, defense was not a dirty word. In the 1969 "game of the century" between No. 1 Texas and No. 2 Arkansas, both unbeaten, the Longhorns prevailed by 15-14, which was considered perfectly normal. In 1966, when No. 1 Notre Dame and No. 2 Michigan State battled to a 10-10 tie, the stands were not littered afterward with the corpses of fans who died of boredom…

Our forebears would have recognized this impersonation of football as a symptom of moral decline, reflecting an unwillingness to accept deprivation and a demand for instant and frequent gratification. The same phenomenon accounts for the mad proliferation of postseason bowl games.

This year, 34 of these will be played (more than double the number in 1980), creating the biggest glut this side of the housing sector. They include the EagleBank in Washington, D.C., the R+L Carriers New Orleans, the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia and the Gaylord Hotels Music City.

Think of it: Half a century hence, an elderly man will dandle his grandson on his knee and regale him with stirring tales of the 2008 San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl.

Ouch. Some interesting points though, although I tend to favor the higher scoring version of the game.

Moreover, since I’m an IU grad, I’d sort of tuned out on college football pretty early this year in order to focus on basketball (oooooh riiiiiight — thanks Kelvin).

You Might as Well Laugh Rather Than Cry

There’s not much good that comes out of a financial situation like the one our country (and the world) is experiencing. The slight exception might be some of the jokes or satirical analyses that emerge.

Such as an e-mail from a former co-worker at 4:40 a.m. one morning (maybe he was up worrying about his retirement funds) with new definitions for some common terms. We’ll share a few here:

  • Financial planner — a guy whose phone has been disconnected
  • Cash flow — the movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet
  • Institutional investor — past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse
  • Yahoo — what you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share
  • Windows — what you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share
  • P/E ratio — the percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing

Or there’s the fact that if you spent $1,000 one year ago on the following stocks, the values today would be: less than $5 for Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac; $6.60 for Lehman Brothers or a whopping $42 for AIG.

In comparison, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer, drank it and turned in all the cans for recycling, you would have $214. The drink heavily and recycle plan is also known as 401-Keg.

Remember, things will get better.